Road-Remorse

This weekend I was asked by Danny Vincent from Dwelling Place (Zion Bible College in Haverhill, MA) to play guitar with them at a youth leader’s summit called “Pillars Conference.” After the Saturday morning session I had to head back to Agawam to get ready for our Saturday night service. On the way home while driving through Worcester on I-290, I accidentally took the slower of two ways to get to the Mass Pike because I was distracted while tweeting (#dangerousThingsIshouldntDo) a good line I had just heard in a Gary Go song (#lameThingsIshouldntDo). FYI, the “#” is called a Twitter “hashtag,” and I don’t really know what they do either.

Since I was slightly detoured, I found myself in somewhat unfamiliar territory. The only thing I could do was drive very slow while frantically looking for “I-90″ signs. When I finally found my access point to the Pike, I had to cut across four lanes and behind the tail end of an 18-wheeler about 20 yards shy of a red light to get myself to the left turn lane. Before attempting this precarious maneuver, I thoroughly checked my mirrors, but apparently didn’t head check too well, because when I squeezed behind the tractor trailer and approached the red light, I heard obnoxious honking. I looked in the rear view mirror and observed a man in his fifties in a tan Corolla shaking his fist and shouting. I could only conclude that I had just cut him off, unbeknownst to me. I don’t consider myself a good lip reader, but this man made it really easy for me. I watched as his mouth made profane word contractions I don’t think have ever been used before. Considering the fact that we were just yards short of a red light, he couldn’t have possibly been driving more than 7 MPH when I pulled in front of him, but judging by his reaction, I assume he was having himself a subpar Saturday.

It seemed like that red light took a half hour to turn green as we just sat there bumper to bumper. I wanted to convey my apologies to him in some way, but there was nothing I could do short of getting out of my car and tapping on his window. So I settled for a weird attempt at sign language as I lifted both hands into the air, palms up like I was carrying two waiter’s trays at a restaurant, sans trays. I knew he could see me through my rear window, so I hoped this would say “I’m not from around here, so please except my deepest regrets… I’m glad there was no harm done.” But again, judging by his reaction, he took it as “I enjoyed cutting you off… it satisfied a deep desire I have within to aggravate middle-aged men like yourself and ruin your Saturday.”

As we entered the Pike, he proceeded to “show me what’s up” by riding my tail and then violently accelerating past me whilst peering into my window and shaking his head in disgust. Again, I tried to express my sentiments by mouthing the word “sorry,” but to no avail. I then remembered that I had a spiral ring notepad in my car, so I looked around for a Sharpie thinking maybe I could scribble a remorseful statement and attempt to hold it up as I passed him. But I had no Sharpie. I had absolutely no way to make it up to this fellow unless I followed him to his destination and did it personally.

I don’t have anything against that guy. I’m sure he is probably a great person with some young grandchildren that think he is one red suit/white beard short of being Santa Claus. I would probably even bet that he’s a Christian and attends a church in the Worcester area. But for those few minutes I “shared” with him, his worst side was the side facing me. Driving is like playing golf… it can bring out the worst in anyone if the anger isn’t controlled. The only difference is that in a car, you can feel almost invincible inside of that little steel/fiberglass rage-rocket. You can say whatever you want without being heard, make gestures, and pull beside people that just cut you off and condescendingly shake your head. Everyone is a tough guy when they’re in their car.

Being on the receiving end of a road rage episode is not fun, especially when you’re regretful for something you’ve done. Seeing this man express his anger towards me made me analyze my own life and wonder if I could ever let myself go off like that on another person within the protection of my car. I am not perfect and I have definitely had times of slight road rage after being the “victim” of similar instances of bad driving. Every day on the road, thousands of drivers’ levelheadedness is put to the test, and most people fail. I have failed. We all have failed.

The Word has plenty to say about anger. One of my favorites is Ephesians 4:26-27 – “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” It’s natural and it’s normal to get angry, but we are to not sin in our anger. How is this possible? The same passage in The Message says this, “Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.”

When anger wells up inside, we have a few options. We can suppress it and pretend it doesn’t exist (don’t do this), we can flip out and start destroying objects and even people (don’t do this either), or we can acknowledge that the anger is there, take a deep breath, maybe let out a stiff “grrr,” and move on. Some people even prefer to scream into pillows, lift weights, or beat up a punching bag. Whatever it takes, do not let your anger lead to sin. When you do, you give the devil a foothold-a secure place to latch on to you so he can find other ways to get you to give in to your sinful nature. And maybe we should just all keep signs in our cars that say “I’m sorry.” Who knows, maybe It could reduce road rage related car accidents by diffusing potentially bad situations. It’s amazing what those two words can do when they come from the heart… or from black ink on a piece of loose leaf filler paper stuck to the driver side window of a car.

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